If there’s one thing most people can’t stand, it’s not knowing. Not knowing what’s next. Not knowing how something will turn out. Not knowing if you’re making the right choice. That discomfort—the squirmy, anxious feeling that creeps in when the future is unclear—can be enough to make even the most rational person spiral into worst-case-scenario thinking.

My close friend Abby passed away 10 years ago. Today, and many other days, I ask myself how I can honor Abby’s legacy. And I’ve realized that Abby’s memory is integrated into my life.

As a teenager, I remember seeing the book “When someone you love is depressed: how to help your loved one without losing yourself” on my mother’s nightstand.  I remember feeling appalled by seeing this book. I thought to myself, who needs this type of book?  Is it that difficult?  My teenage ego-centric brain could not understand why this book existed and thought my mom should get a life.  I only recognized years later that she was, in fact, trying to get a life then.

I recently decided to revamp my website.  I planned to hire someone to do the work for me, but a friend recommended I check out Squarespace to create a website on my own.  She created her website this way and thought I could too.  My initial reaction to this was a hard no.  Doesn’t my friend know how bad I am with technology? Isn’t this the same friend who took a coding class for fun? I came up with a number of reasons to support my no and upon examining the evidence, my reasons didn’t hold up.  My emotional mind said no but my wise mind said yes.